YOU'RE SIXTEEN by Ringo Starr (1978)

Like Annabel Jankel and Rocky Morton’s video for Elvis Costello’s ACCIDENTS WILL HAPPEN in 1979, YOU’RE SIXTEEN is an animated clip that was years ahead of its time.


Unlike the Costello piece, YOU’RE SIXTEEN was not technically a promo video. It was just one small segment in Ringo, an hour-long TV special broadcast in April of 1978.


The special itself is a mildly amusing oddity typical of late ‘70s made-for-TV entertainment, featuring obligatory Love Boat-ish guest spots by the likes of Vincent Price and Art Carney. (Was Don Ho busy shooting a Fantasy Island?)


Between the wacky plot involving a dweeby Ringo lookalike named Ognir and the buffet of bad suits and haircuts, the animated antics that occur when Ringo croons “You’re Sixteen” to Carrie Fisher easily stand out as the most charming two minutes of the show.


For the YOU’RE SIXTEEN piece, Director Michael Mileham and animator Linda Taylor hand-created a surreal dance number and some adorably retro ‘50s visuals using a film compositing technique, similar to the groundbreaking animation Terry Gilliam developed for Monty Python’s Flying Circus several years earlier.


Add in some pop music, and you’ve got a nifty prototype for the ‘80s videos of director Jim Blashfield, whose cutout Xerox animation style gave a unique look to Talking Heads’ AND SHE WAS (1985) and Paul Simon’s BOY IN THE BUBBLE (1986), among others.


But Mileham and Taylor made YOU’RE SIXTEEN years before the Blashfield touch entered the music video world, and when removed from its context it still stands on its own as an innovative music video clip.


It begins with a tiny Ringo (dressed as his nerdy counterpart Ognir Rrats) resting atop the head of his girlfriend Marquine (played by a 21-year-old Carrie Fisher). He slides down her hair and becomes full-sized so they can knock back a few ice cream sodas at the local fountain.


Meanwhile, bubbles pop, windshield wipers swing and the couple floats through the night sky in their jammies like Peter and Wendy.


It’s such sweet, innocent fun it’s a shame to have to mention that a heavily-bearded Ringo looks old enough to be Carrie’s creepy uncle. Plus the fact that he’s singing about her being sixteen years old. Aside from the pervy undertones (let’s ignore them, shall we?), the clip is basically more fun than I ever thought I’d have listening to a Ringo Starr song. (Sorry Ringo, but it’s true.)


During the kazoo solo (courtesy of Paul McCartney!), Ringo and his twin perform some wildly inventive dance moves as giant hands transport him and Carrie to a candy realm, where they tango among sugary confections and fly off into a dream world.


Ah, to be sixteen, surrounded by sweets and in the arms of a Beatle! If anyone ever animates me into a make-believe scenario, I couldn’t hope for a better fate.

LOVE PLUS ONE by Haircut 100 (1982)

Hello again to all 6 of my loyal readers! It’s good to be back and writing my very first requested music video article:

Abra said...
Do you take requests? I'd love to see a review of Love Plus One!

Abra, without further ado, this one’s for you!

How does one become a One-Hit Wonder? In the case of England's Haircut 100, the answer’s simple. Lead guitarist/vocalist Nick Heyward, apparently convinced by someone that he was wasting oodles of star potential, left the band in early 1983 to embark on a solo career just as Haircut was enjoying its first wave of success.



This unfortunate decision (sometimes referred to as “The Limahl Delusion”) ruined many a promising new wave act in the 1980s.

Haircut 100 was actually more of a Two-Hit Wonder – "Favourite Shirts (Boy Meets Girl)" was their other fun single from ’82 – but technically only LOVE PLUS ONE charted in the U.S., so on this side of the Atlantic the band does indeed reside in the One-Hit Wonder file.


But one hit or two, the video they’re best known for is undoubtedly LOVE PLUS ONE, a tropical-themed piece of fluff made back in the good old days, when erupting volcanic ash merely served as an atmospheric backdrop to a music video and not a flight-delaying mess.


While arguably not one of director David Mallet’s finest moments, the clip does capture the playful spirit of the music and looks like it was tons of fun to shoot.

One thing I’ve never been clear on: Is the band supposed to be on safari? Stranded on a deserted isle? Trapped in a Tarzan movie? African-American “natives” are present, yet so are white women in leopard bikinis.


The band appears to be quite at home in this setting, yet they’re all dressed in thick sweaters and substantial slacks. Voodoo and cannibalism are involved, but so are surfboards. The contrasting symbols abound.


The song’s lyrics seem to suggest a moment of regret involving an attempted phone call and an unanswered ring, yet the video comes across as a particularly upbeat installment of Danger Island. In fact, when the guys in skeleton costumes start dancing around the girl in the soup tureen, one can almost sense the clumsy hands of Hanna-Barbera at work.


The most entertaining moment of the piece is an accidental (one hopes) lingering full-frontal crotch shot of Nick Heyward in a loincloth. What the MST3K guys would refer to as his “area” is covered up, but it’s still a bit cringe-inducing. Could they not have gone with a different camera angle?


Johnny Weismuller he may not be, but Nick and the Haircut boys sure made some happy music while they were around. And fans might be interested to know they are contemplating reforming! Nick, if you decide to create a sequel to LOVE PLUS ONE, here’s a tip: close the legs and swing the vine AWAY from the camera. Thank you.

BUFFALO GALS by Malcolm McLaren (1982)

Beloved videophiles, please bear with me while I focus on my screenplay for a few more days. I'll be back to full power very soon!

In the meantime, here's an innovative clip by one of the 20th century's true innovators. Your influence will be felt for years to come, Malcolm! You'll be missed.